Cowboys versus Fishermen...

That's the plot of George A Romero's new film Survival of The Dead.

I first saw the trailer about 6 months ago. At first I thought it was a joke. A piece put together by fan boys but no... I can officially confirm that Romero has whored his name out like a rental taxi plate and made a film so shiteous that he pissed all over my memories of the early dead films and has caused me to abandon all hope...

This film has it all, zombies on horses, feuding Irish neighbours and the inept American Army. All this aside the real point of this film is pit some Texan / Irish cowboys against Captain Birdseye and his mismashed band of merry men.

This may sound epic and awesome but its not.

Without Tom Savini doing the effects, the zombies are essentially shambling around with bits of rasher and ham stuck to their faces. They sound like the zombie cartoon character from the end of the Buffy credits. And all they can do is bite your cheek, dress in lumberjack shirts and scrab the arm off ya.

Although I suppose the lumberjack shirt is a better piece of clothing to die in as opposed to the Irish trend of luminous slouchy socks, shorts and pastel tights, aka Attack of the Illuminous Dead - the plot of which would revolve around Dicko and Deco two scanda jacketed muppets trying to survive wave after wave of Scobes, Junkies, D4 dickheads and Zombies in their quest to find some more packets of rizzlaaaaaaaaaaaa and a light...

Hey George rent me your name the next time and I'll make this movie! It'll be fookin rapiiiiiiiiiiiiiit